Homecoming

I got home this morning from another week at Chateau Shelter. As I said I was going to do, I took off for a week to allow my rents and myself to get some perspective on what is going on in my life. Over the last week I have not really posted on the comings and goings at the shelter. This was intentional. I think I needed time to get my head clear and since I needed that time, I thought it best to not post so that I could make sure that I knew what I wanted to say before I went to say it. What I am going to do is just kind of gloss over the last week a little. The focus for me now is on the conversation that is coming this evening with my rents. I call it a conversation but given that I am the kid in the house, I am sure it will be more along the lines of a lecture. I want it to have some back and forth to it though and I do intend to stand my ground and fight back a little. As you know, I am not good at verbal confrontation and so I usually lose but I am going to give it my best tonight. I will save the big shocking incident for the end of the post.

The last week away from home was good. I got that perspective I needed and cleared my head. I got to vent my frustration to some friends and more importantly to Caleb who helped me see things from a different viewpoint. I did a round of Chemo which also although very draining, is giving me a sense of hope which has been missing for some time. I am cautiously optimistic on this one.

I spent most of the week with Caleb, getting close to him and spending that quality time that I so enjoy spending with him. We got to continue our ritual of the nightly hug which has been a good thing for me. We are getting more and more comfortable with each other in that we usually end up cuddling on a couch, holding hands walking somewhere down the street, even exchanging a kiss here and there. There is something magical about holding him that gives me a sense of peace and comfort that I have not found anywhere else. Its comforting to know he is there especially as I find myself navigating some of the biggest challenges of my life. I wont go into the gory details of things but for those of you who are wondering, NO, I have not given up my virginity to him yet LOL.

During the last week I have also decided that I am going to fight as hard as I can to beat my Cancer. I am going to do the Chemo, the drugs, the whatever they tell me to do so that I have a shot at this. I got a really cool note from a good friend who told me he did not want me to go. He is one of a great many people who have been saying things like that and it is giving me the desire to fight this tooth and nail the best that I can. With that being said, I am going to keep it up and even though Chemo sucks, being dead sucks a whole lot more.

So what is the big shocker I mentioned earlier. Well here you go. I got home this morning after everyone had left for work. I went up to my room to find everything had changed. My bed, desk, and dresser were moved to one side of the room. On the other side was another bed, desk, and a mini closet thing that holds clothes. I have no idea what the hell is going on but clearly, the intention is that I am not in this room alone anymore. In fact, I am not even sure I am in this room period! I am not sure if my rents are booting me and renting the room out or what is going on. All I know is that I am horribly confused and I cant find anything out until tonight. I will be sure to let you all know if I am changing addresses but for now, all I can do is wait and see what happens next.

LiveSTRONG!