I was going to talk about a couple of things today but I think instead that I will focus on what Christmas is like when you cant hear the sounds of Christmas. I never really knew what I was missing. I mean, for sure i could see a bell, I could see people standing in the mall dressed up like people from the pioneer days, clearly singing something but I had no idea what the bell sounded like, what they were singing or what the guy in the red suit thought was so funny that he was always laughing.
When your deaf some of the best parts of Christmas are the sights and smells of the holiday. I always enjoyed helping my parents decorate the house, I still do. There is nothing quite like hanging a wreath, some mistletoe, putting up the outdoor lights and discovering that a few had magically burned out since you last hung them, and the crowning moment, setting up the christmas tree.
When the day came for us to set up the tree, my parents always took me out to the woods to cut a real tree down. They understood the value of getting me out into the open air. Walking among the Scotch pines (my personal favourite because they smell so nice) I would breathe deeply and inhale the smell of fresh pine, cold snow, and good old clean fresh country air. It was amazing, and I loved every second of it. Dad would cut down the tree and we would eventually load it onto the car for the drive home.
Once we got home, Dad would set the tree in its stand to thaw and Mom would start baking something, anything, though usually chocolate chip cookies. It was not long before the house was full of the smell of fresh cookies, scotch pine, and coffee. It was beautiful, makes my skin crawl just typing about it.
We would gather around and begin to decorate the tree. We would sign stories with each other and just enjoy the comforts of being together.
The season would continue like this for weeks. Mom was smart, she would bake only a few things everyday so that I could enjoy many days in the house with the fragrance of fresh baking. I think she knew how important that was to me. It was all I had really, that and signing with family but to be honest, it was the smell of her baking that was most important to me.
Teh big day would eventually come and the house was full of family. The Turkey would be cooking, all the veggies, the stuffing, the sweet potatoes and my aunt's home made pumpkin pie. Christmas day was always amazing. Not because of the gifts, I do like gifts but it was being with my family that really got me excited. Still does.
Now that I can hear, when I look back on those years, I dont think I truly missed anything. I had everything I needed. In some respects I think I liked it better when I could not hear. Its funny, when I found myself able to hear I learned just how commercial Christmas really is. It was no longer about the sights and smells. Now I can hear advertising and commercials. Maybe, just maybe, I can plug my ears and find that place I was in just a little while ago. Just maybe...
Onward!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I Can't Hear You
I dont really remember when it was that I realized that I could not hear. I guess when you are born without hearing you never really realize what it is that you are missing. I remember as far back as 3 and even then, I remember seeing lips moving, but never connected to the idea that I was missing something. I also remember seeing a television and seeing the images but having no concept of what was being played on the screen. For me, everything was normal because I had no idea that something was missing.
I think my parents were probably more alarmed then I was. I remember very clearly now that I had an unordinary number of trips to various doctors. I now know that the idea was that I was being tested to see if my hearing was really gone. Again, for me, I had no concept that anything was wrong because in reality, when you dont have something to begin with, its really hard to miss it, or mourn for it.
I wont get too far into the details of what happened once it became clear that I was officially deaf, I will save that for a later blog. For now, I think I will focus on what it was like to be very young and not have a clue that you were very different from everyone else.
I think at a young age the hardest part was not having a clue when someone was sneaking up on you, or sitting in a room with your back to the door and not having a clue that someone had just walked in. That can be un-nerving to even the most hardened people. I learned over time though that my other senses were going to help me out. For example, I have an incredible sense of smell. I quickly learned the smells in my house. The smell of my room, the other rooms, the basement. I learned what my parents smelled like, their cologne or perfume, the hair styling product they used, the baby powder my dad uses after a shower. After a while I learned that I could tell someone was coming into my room just by the smell of their "marking". I say marking because that is what I call the scent that someone has.
I learned to spend more time smelling things, the flowers, the cut grass, the gasoline in the car, the rich smell of cooking in my kitchen. The holidays, especially Christmas were the best. I will spend a whole chapter of this blog on how a deaf person enjoys Christmas. I think you will like it. In short, I began to rely heavily on my nose to help me know when someone was behind me or to tell me when something was wrong when I could not hear it. For instance, a smoke detector was useless to me because I could not hear it but I can tell you, I can smell smoke far before the detector could LOL.
This part is going to sound crazy but I have a sixth sense on things too, I dont know how to explain it but I have a way of being dialed into those funny things that make the hair on your neck stand up. I learned to be dialed into my surroundings...I dont see dead people, I dont mean it like that, but I do have a weird way of just sensing someone around me, or sensing when somethng is about to happen to me. For example, I have dodged many a car that would have likely run me down for my not paying full attention just because something in my gut told me to get out of the way. Weird eh? I bet anyone could do it if they wanted...I just do it out of necessity LOL
Okay, so we have covered some more ground today, talking about my sense of smell, my sixth sense, and being diagnosed as deaf.
In my next entry, I will cover the smells of the holidays and how a deaf person has Christmas...its a little different really. I will also talk about how I communicated, that it, learning to sign. And I will probably touch on making friends.
Onward!
I think my parents were probably more alarmed then I was. I remember very clearly now that I had an unordinary number of trips to various doctors. I now know that the idea was that I was being tested to see if my hearing was really gone. Again, for me, I had no concept that anything was wrong because in reality, when you dont have something to begin with, its really hard to miss it, or mourn for it.
I wont get too far into the details of what happened once it became clear that I was officially deaf, I will save that for a later blog. For now, I think I will focus on what it was like to be very young and not have a clue that you were very different from everyone else.
I think at a young age the hardest part was not having a clue when someone was sneaking up on you, or sitting in a room with your back to the door and not having a clue that someone had just walked in. That can be un-nerving to even the most hardened people. I learned over time though that my other senses were going to help me out. For example, I have an incredible sense of smell. I quickly learned the smells in my house. The smell of my room, the other rooms, the basement. I learned what my parents smelled like, their cologne or perfume, the hair styling product they used, the baby powder my dad uses after a shower. After a while I learned that I could tell someone was coming into my room just by the smell of their "marking". I say marking because that is what I call the scent that someone has.
I learned to spend more time smelling things, the flowers, the cut grass, the gasoline in the car, the rich smell of cooking in my kitchen. The holidays, especially Christmas were the best. I will spend a whole chapter of this blog on how a deaf person enjoys Christmas. I think you will like it. In short, I began to rely heavily on my nose to help me know when someone was behind me or to tell me when something was wrong when I could not hear it. For instance, a smoke detector was useless to me because I could not hear it but I can tell you, I can smell smoke far before the detector could LOL.
This part is going to sound crazy but I have a sixth sense on things too, I dont know how to explain it but I have a way of being dialed into those funny things that make the hair on your neck stand up. I learned to be dialed into my surroundings...I dont see dead people, I dont mean it like that, but I do have a weird way of just sensing someone around me, or sensing when somethng is about to happen to me. For example, I have dodged many a car that would have likely run me down for my not paying full attention just because something in my gut told me to get out of the way. Weird eh? I bet anyone could do it if they wanted...I just do it out of necessity LOL
Okay, so we have covered some more ground today, talking about my sense of smell, my sixth sense, and being diagnosed as deaf.
In my next entry, I will cover the smells of the holidays and how a deaf person has Christmas...its a little different really. I will also talk about how I communicated, that it, learning to sign. And I will probably touch on making friends.
Onward!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Welcome To My Blog
At the encouragement of many people, mostly friends and people I associate with online I have decided to set up a blog to talk about my experiences as a former deaf mute male.
Its interesting, I say former deaf mute because I had an operation that called a cochlear implantation that allowed me to be able to hear for the very first time. Up until that day I was going through life unable to hear or speak. The sound of my own voice was a mystery to me, I could not make words or sounds other than what I am told was basic grunts and groans.
So here I am, able to hear, able to speak and I am told it would be fascinating to tell the world about what it is like to be able to hear for the first time well still quite young.
What will follow in this blog will be a journey. I will take you from my earliest memories as a deaf mute and tell you what it was like to be me, unable to speak or hear and then walk you through the shocking, scary, amusing, exciting and generally emotional change to being able to hear and speak for the very first time. What it is like to experience that for the first time.
Some of my posts will be dark, depressing. I can't help that, its just the way I would have felt at that time and others will be really exciting, and emotionally charged.
In the end, I hope you enjoy taking this journey with me. If you have never lived without the ability to hear or speak, I hope my blog helps you appreciate all that you have and if you cant hear or speak, I hope my blog gives you hope for the future.
Miracles do happen....
Onward!
Its interesting, I say former deaf mute because I had an operation that called a cochlear implantation that allowed me to be able to hear for the very first time. Up until that day I was going through life unable to hear or speak. The sound of my own voice was a mystery to me, I could not make words or sounds other than what I am told was basic grunts and groans.
So here I am, able to hear, able to speak and I am told it would be fascinating to tell the world about what it is like to be able to hear for the first time well still quite young.
What will follow in this blog will be a journey. I will take you from my earliest memories as a deaf mute and tell you what it was like to be me, unable to speak or hear and then walk you through the shocking, scary, amusing, exciting and generally emotional change to being able to hear and speak for the very first time. What it is like to experience that for the first time.
Some of my posts will be dark, depressing. I can't help that, its just the way I would have felt at that time and others will be really exciting, and emotionally charged.
In the end, I hope you enjoy taking this journey with me. If you have never lived without the ability to hear or speak, I hope my blog helps you appreciate all that you have and if you cant hear or speak, I hope my blog gives you hope for the future.
Miracles do happen....
Onward!
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