When your hearing music for the very first time it is really unavoidable that you are going to trip across a song that has been out in general circulation forever but is really something very new and special just for you. This happens to me a lot as I find my understanding and breadth of musical catalogue expanding. A classic example of this very situation happened to me last night.
I was sitting at the computer watching some stuff on Youtube and this song came on the radio. It started with some of the most beautiful, what I think was native Indian, chanting that I have ever heard. I had to listen to the whole thing. The song then changed and broke into a more modern sound and the singer began to sing the lyrics. I took a stab at the title by listening to the song and found it was called, “Return To Innocence” by a group called Enigma. I googled the lyrics and found the video on Youtube.
After watching it three or four times I decided it was going to be one of my favourite songs. The lyrics are simple, the sound is deliciously complex weaving chanting with more modern sound. A few of the lyrics in the song really struck me as powerful, they conveyed a message to me that really felt universal. Here is one of them:
Dont be afraid to be weak
Dont be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
To me, this is a very poweful message. Don’t be afraid to be weak, don’t be proud to be strong. How badly do we all long to return to a state of total innocence in this world. We now live in a world where war, killing, and death are the stories that grab the headlines and our interest. If only we could return to a state of innocence.
The song continued and another set of lyrics struck me, and I showed them to Caleb because to me, they spoke directly to what it is he is going through with his recovery from addiction. They were:
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself dont hide
Just believe in destiny
Dont care what people say
Just follow your own way
Dont give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
Again, how powerful these words are and when you hear them sung with the emotion that I can not convey in this blog, you really do begin to understand just how very moving this song really is.
I have been accused of being oversensitive to these things and perhaps relying far to much on music to tell the story. I disagree. Music is just another form of art and art imitates life. I am not sure what year this song was produced but I do know that its meaning still holds water today. When I was given the chance to survive Cancer and live to tell, I was essentially given the chance to return to a heightened state of grace…I was given the chance to return to innocence. Can you do the same?
LiveSTRONG!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
In This Moment
A while ago I posted a blog called Praying For Time. I was at a point where I was just hoping and praying that I would get more time out of this life. I was sure that I was going to be moving on without ceremony. Then things changed for the better and I was given a second chance to be here.
I keep thinking about that fact and how things change. Much like the seasons, one thing often leads to another. It was not until I watched back the taped American Idol Finale that I heard a song that made me feel the way "Praying For Time" did. There I was watching the show, hoping against all odds that David A was going to take the whole ball of wax. As I sat there, it happened. Out came David A and he began to sing an original song. Apparently one of the three songs the contestants had to sing was an original song written through the song writing competition. David A chose a beautiful reflective ballad called, "In This Moment" and I was hooked. The song is the perfect polar opposite to what I was feeling when I heard, "Praying For Time". There is this one portion of the song in which David sings, "Now that I know what it's like to be living in this beautiful world and never stop giving, I can't return to a life with no vision, born into eyes not by my own decision"
That when it hit me that things are now very different for me. I cant go back to the way things were because I need to keep moving forward. I now know what it is like to be living in this world and I can see just how beautiful a gift it is to have life.
For all the things that made me sad and reflective in "Praying For Time", "In This Moment" gives me all kinds of reasons to be happy and forward thinking.
I have been given the gift of life and as I heal and get stronger and learn to be part of the Yellow Army that fights for the cure and helps those who are still stricken with this awful disease, I feel for the first time that I am truly living and the future finally looks bright.
For those of you who have never seen this song or missed David A performing it, please watch this Youtube video of it. If "Praying For Time" moved you, "In This Moment" will give you a sense of direction and stability. It really is exactly what I am feeling at this moment!
LiveSTRONG
I keep thinking about that fact and how things change. Much like the seasons, one thing often leads to another. It was not until I watched back the taped American Idol Finale that I heard a song that made me feel the way "Praying For Time" did. There I was watching the show, hoping against all odds that David A was going to take the whole ball of wax. As I sat there, it happened. Out came David A and he began to sing an original song. Apparently one of the three songs the contestants had to sing was an original song written through the song writing competition. David A chose a beautiful reflective ballad called, "In This Moment" and I was hooked. The song is the perfect polar opposite to what I was feeling when I heard, "Praying For Time". There is this one portion of the song in which David sings, "Now that I know what it's like to be living in this beautiful world and never stop giving, I can't return to a life with no vision, born into eyes not by my own decision"
That when it hit me that things are now very different for me. I cant go back to the way things were because I need to keep moving forward. I now know what it is like to be living in this world and I can see just how beautiful a gift it is to have life.
For all the things that made me sad and reflective in "Praying For Time", "In This Moment" gives me all kinds of reasons to be happy and forward thinking.
I have been given the gift of life and as I heal and get stronger and learn to be part of the Yellow Army that fights for the cure and helps those who are still stricken with this awful disease, I feel for the first time that I am truly living and the future finally looks bright.
For those of you who have never seen this song or missed David A performing it, please watch this Youtube video of it. If "Praying For Time" moved you, "In This Moment" will give you a sense of direction and stability. It really is exactly what I am feeling at this moment!
LiveSTRONG
Monday, May 26, 2008
Getting My Bearings
I have been sitting at home for the last little while, trying to get myself back to normal and I was thinking the other day about how much things have changed in the last little while. In the last few months I have watched my Bisexual boyfriend move in with us, I have gone from being cancer riddled to cancer free, Caleb is now working part time and agreeing to hand over half his cheque to my rents for them to put in a savings account to help him get organized and save some money, I have lost my virginity, and my family seems to be tighter than ever.
I am not an overly religious person and I dont preach religion to anyone and I certainly dont push my beliefs on anyone at any time however, I do feel blessed. I could not have imagined all this good coming about in such a short time. How lucky I am to have so very much going right for me. I almost worry that its a dream and I am going to wake up to find that none of it is real and yet that moment has not come yet.
On the recovery front, I am still tired a lot, but I go out more now and walking is really helping me to get my head clear and balanced. I still cant stay on the computer for long periods of time because I get headaches and all kinds of other problems right along with it but that is supposed to get better in time.
I guess for now I dont have a lot to report. In due time I will talk more about the procedure, the recovery process and all that good stuff but for now, I think I am just going to lay and lazily enjoy the dream like feeling I now enjoy.
Till later,
LiveSTRONG
I am not an overly religious person and I dont preach religion to anyone and I certainly dont push my beliefs on anyone at any time however, I do feel blessed. I could not have imagined all this good coming about in such a short time. How lucky I am to have so very much going right for me. I almost worry that its a dream and I am going to wake up to find that none of it is real and yet that moment has not come yet.
On the recovery front, I am still tired a lot, but I go out more now and walking is really helping me to get my head clear and balanced. I still cant stay on the computer for long periods of time because I get headaches and all kinds of other problems right along with it but that is supposed to get better in time.
I guess for now I dont have a lot to report. In due time I will talk more about the procedure, the recovery process and all that good stuff but for now, I think I am just going to lay and lazily enjoy the dream like feeling I now enjoy.
Till later,
LiveSTRONG
Friday, May 23, 2008
Learning To Live Again
Its a funny thing when you go from expecting the worst in life to suddenly finding yourself able to expect so very much more. A few months ago I was not sure I was going to make it two more years and now I find myself wondering what to do with the rest of what looks like a long and very normal life. Its weird how you almost end up lost. I sit here not sure of what I want to do. All of a sudden I have choices I can and need to make and I am not sure what to do. Lets explore that.
I have always wanted to be a pediatrician. I want to be a kids doctor. Its not that I dont think I have the talent or the brains to do it because I think that I do. Now it is just a question of what I think I am meant to do. That is the real issue here. A while ago I never thought I had a chance. I thought everything was done for me, plotted out and set in stone. Now all of a sudden I find myself unsure of what I am meant to do on this earth. Why was I spared when so many others are not given that chance. That is the burden I carry now. I need to figure out why I was chosen to have a second chance at life and what am I supposed to do with that second chance?
We all go about our daily lives doing what we think is best. We dont ever stop and think to ourselves, what if this was the last day I had on earth. What impact could I make? what would my legacy be? what would people say about me if I was suddenly gone.
Today, Now, as I lay at home and recover, as my brain heals, as the scars cover up the incisions, as I take a fearless inventory of who I am, I ask myself, what am I meant to do now? What is the role I am meant to play in the bigger scheme of things? Was I spared because I am meant to do something more than I have done already? So may questions and it makes my head hurt. I know I have been given a second chance at life and I have no idea why. What I do know is that I am one of the few people who gets the chance to do it all over again. If you were given such a chance what would you do?
Time to take that inventory and do some soul searching...time to find my place in this world, whatever it is.
LiveSTRONG!
I have always wanted to be a pediatrician. I want to be a kids doctor. Its not that I dont think I have the talent or the brains to do it because I think that I do. Now it is just a question of what I think I am meant to do. That is the real issue here. A while ago I never thought I had a chance. I thought everything was done for me, plotted out and set in stone. Now all of a sudden I find myself unsure of what I am meant to do on this earth. Why was I spared when so many others are not given that chance. That is the burden I carry now. I need to figure out why I was chosen to have a second chance at life and what am I supposed to do with that second chance?
We all go about our daily lives doing what we think is best. We dont ever stop and think to ourselves, what if this was the last day I had on earth. What impact could I make? what would my legacy be? what would people say about me if I was suddenly gone.
Today, Now, as I lay at home and recover, as my brain heals, as the scars cover up the incisions, as I take a fearless inventory of who I am, I ask myself, what am I meant to do now? What is the role I am meant to play in the bigger scheme of things? Was I spared because I am meant to do something more than I have done already? So may questions and it makes my head hurt. I know I have been given a second chance at life and I have no idea why. What I do know is that I am one of the few people who gets the chance to do it all over again. If you were given such a chance what would you do?
Time to take that inventory and do some soul searching...time to find my place in this world, whatever it is.
LiveSTRONG!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Homecoming
I don't know where to start with this entry. I am home again after two long weeks in hospital and after living through the most intense surgical procedure I have ever had. There is a lot I want to talk about but I need time. I am tired most of the time and I have some pretty wicked headaches at times so its tough to sit here and type and share all kinds of stuff.
I think what I will do is thank everyone who comes here, reads this blog, and shows their support for me in one way or another. I may never get to know any of you but I feel as though you are a deep and integral part of my life. Your support and prayers have been the raft in which I navigated the sea of madness that was/is my life.
First off to Caleb who has been my rock through all this. Who would ever have thought that you could handle all this madness with the grace and calm of a champion. I had no idea you had such internal strength. Many would have up and abandoned me knowing that there were much easier relationships out there and yet you stayed and held my hand through it all. Your my champion.
Zach. I can honestly say without a doubt that had you not kept pushing back about going to chemo I may have never gone back and therefore I may not have been here now or later for that matter. I wanted to stop the chemo and just let it all go and you would have no part of it. In your own special way you pushed me hard to go back and in turn you saved my life. I cant and wont ever forget that. Your a special person and your influence on this world will be tremendous if you believe in yourself.
To my family. Family is the heart of the house. You are my heart and soul, and your support and prayers during this whole experience has been more than anyone could ever ask for. A man is a rich man when he has family like you.
To the people who write in and spend their time reading the ramblings of this kid from Kitchener and then take time to post your thoughts. THANK YOU. You keep me motivated and you are the reason I keep this thing going. It would be so easy to just stop and not bother but knowing that you all come here and read and share in my experiences moves me in a way I simply can not put into words other than to say THANK YOU!
Over the next bit I will talk about my hospital experience and the emotion of going from being slated to die to being cancer free. Cancer free...never thought I would type that and here I am.
Thank you everyone!
LiveSTRONG!
I think what I will do is thank everyone who comes here, reads this blog, and shows their support for me in one way or another. I may never get to know any of you but I feel as though you are a deep and integral part of my life. Your support and prayers have been the raft in which I navigated the sea of madness that was/is my life.
First off to Caleb who has been my rock through all this. Who would ever have thought that you could handle all this madness with the grace and calm of a champion. I had no idea you had such internal strength. Many would have up and abandoned me knowing that there were much easier relationships out there and yet you stayed and held my hand through it all. Your my champion.
Zach. I can honestly say without a doubt that had you not kept pushing back about going to chemo I may have never gone back and therefore I may not have been here now or later for that matter. I wanted to stop the chemo and just let it all go and you would have no part of it. In your own special way you pushed me hard to go back and in turn you saved my life. I cant and wont ever forget that. Your a special person and your influence on this world will be tremendous if you believe in yourself.
To my family. Family is the heart of the house. You are my heart and soul, and your support and prayers during this whole experience has been more than anyone could ever ask for. A man is a rich man when he has family like you.
To the people who write in and spend their time reading the ramblings of this kid from Kitchener and then take time to post your thoughts. THANK YOU. You keep me motivated and you are the reason I keep this thing going. It would be so easy to just stop and not bother but knowing that you all come here and read and share in my experiences moves me in a way I simply can not put into words other than to say THANK YOU!
Over the next bit I will talk about my hospital experience and the emotion of going from being slated to die to being cancer free. Cancer free...never thought I would type that and here I am.
Thank you everyone!
LiveSTRONG!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Welcome Home Derry!
Hey Babe
I am not so good at this kinda thing so I thought I would post a welcome home note for you.
I knew when I met you that you were somethin special. When you walked into the shelter and I just knew there was somethin special bout you. Then I got to know you. Started over hugs and conversation until I finally kissed ya and you know you totally kissed me back but however you wanna make it out is cool. Then I got to know you more and I started to fall in love with ya. Yer rents opened their home to me and my life changed in a big way. No one has ever been as cool to me as you and yer family. You looked past my broken past and my stupid drug addiction shit and hung with me. I looked past yer Cancer and yer hearing issues and hung with you. You gave me the super honour of bein the one to make you shine and with that one big day I got to feel a kinda love that I never felt before and I am so wound that I got to have that with you. Then came the surgery and the thing was we knew you were gonna make it cuz like you said, we dont say goodbye. I never felt so close to someone like I do with you and yer like the biggest thing in my life. I dunno how I ever got by before you found me and I found you.
Aight gettin way too emotional but yeah you know its true and you know that now yer comin home to stay I am gonna be yer great protector and keep all the bad things away.
I got one word for ya and you had to know its comin...time for a...yup....SLOBBERKNOCKER!
Aight so yeah, I heard this song on the radio and I wanna make it for you Derry cuz its just like everything I wanna say but am just too dumb to be able to. Its called, "If I Didn't Have You"
I don't know what I was thinking
'Til I was thinking of you
I don't remember a thing before I opened my eyes
And you came into view
I don't know what I was doing
When there was nothing to do
Must've been waiting for someone, baby
Now I can see - I was waiting for you
I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't wanna be me
If I didn't have you
Driving myself to distraction
Until you got in my way
I was just whistling Dixie 'til
you struck up the band
And they started to play
I don't know how I was living
Until you came in my life
I always knew there was something wrong
Then you came along
Baby, you made it right
I was alone in the silence
'Til I was hearing your voice
I couldn't see my way clear until
you parted the clouds
And you gave me a choice
I couldn't pick up the pieces
'Til I was falling apart
I didn't know I was bleeding
'Til your love fixed this hole,
baby, here in my heart
I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's no place that I'd rather be
This life without you would be hollow
This love is a gift, and you gave it to me
All that I am, you have made me
And baby, I know that it's true
I'd give it all up in a heartbeat
Just to spend every moment with you
There's no place that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't wanna be me
If I didn't have you
Love you Derry!
I am not so good at this kinda thing so I thought I would post a welcome home note for you.
I knew when I met you that you were somethin special. When you walked into the shelter and I just knew there was somethin special bout you. Then I got to know you. Started over hugs and conversation until I finally kissed ya and you know you totally kissed me back but however you wanna make it out is cool. Then I got to know you more and I started to fall in love with ya. Yer rents opened their home to me and my life changed in a big way. No one has ever been as cool to me as you and yer family. You looked past my broken past and my stupid drug addiction shit and hung with me. I looked past yer Cancer and yer hearing issues and hung with you. You gave me the super honour of bein the one to make you shine and with that one big day I got to feel a kinda love that I never felt before and I am so wound that I got to have that with you. Then came the surgery and the thing was we knew you were gonna make it cuz like you said, we dont say goodbye. I never felt so close to someone like I do with you and yer like the biggest thing in my life. I dunno how I ever got by before you found me and I found you.
Aight gettin way too emotional but yeah you know its true and you know that now yer comin home to stay I am gonna be yer great protector and keep all the bad things away.
I got one word for ya and you had to know its comin...time for a...yup....SLOBBERKNOCKER!
Aight so yeah, I heard this song on the radio and I wanna make it for you Derry cuz its just like everything I wanna say but am just too dumb to be able to. Its called, "If I Didn't Have You"
I don't know what I was thinking
'Til I was thinking of you
I don't remember a thing before I opened my eyes
And you came into view
I don't know what I was doing
When there was nothing to do
Must've been waiting for someone, baby
Now I can see - I was waiting for you
I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't wanna be me
If I didn't have you
Driving myself to distraction
Until you got in my way
I was just whistling Dixie 'til
you struck up the band
And they started to play
I don't know how I was living
Until you came in my life
I always knew there was something wrong
Then you came along
Baby, you made it right
I was alone in the silence
'Til I was hearing your voice
I couldn't see my way clear until
you parted the clouds
And you gave me a choice
I couldn't pick up the pieces
'Til I was falling apart
I didn't know I was bleeding
'Til your love fixed this hole,
baby, here in my heart
I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's no place that I'd rather be
This life without you would be hollow
This love is a gift, and you gave it to me
All that I am, you have made me
And baby, I know that it's true
I'd give it all up in a heartbeat
Just to spend every moment with you
There's no place that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't wanna be me
If I didn't have you
Love you Derry!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Derry Recovery Update 5
Aight everyone, this is gonna be the last post from me till the big guy gets back home. I know I have been kinda shitty at postin as well as he does so yeah its prolly best that he is takin over again. I just dont really know what to say half the time so yeah I just try to save some stuff up and post it.
Okay so the last few days were kinda eventful. The docs gave Derry some kinda medication that he needed to have and he had a wicked reaction to it and started havin severe seizures, he was foamin at the mouth, eyes rolled back, all seizing up and shit and twice his heart stopped and they had to put those shocking things on em. They got him back and started dosin him up with some kinda anti-seizure shit and he settled down. They said it was a serious reaction to one of the meds in his IV bag but they knew what it was and were changing the meds. Today he was fine and I asked him if he remembered any of it and he said he didn't really remember anything. I told him he was like dead twice cuz his heart had stopped and he just kept sayin he had no clue so yeah I dunno, it freaked the shit outta me cuz I thought we were gonna lose him and to have it happen twice I was like, HOLY SHIT do something and I was practically yelling at them to do shit.
Anyway, talkin to him today he is good. We are bringin him some clothes tomorrow for his big day on Tuesday when he gets to come home again. He is really excited but nervous too cuz he has been away and he kinda worries that he is still a little unsure about himself getting around but I am gonna be home with him to keep an eye on him and stuff.
So yeah, he is doin amazing, scans are lookin good, I wont talk much bout that cuz I know he wants to talk about it and stuff but just a hint, they look good so you do the math LOL.
Aight so he will be back and postin on Tuesday and he says hello to everyone and wants me to tell you that he misses bein on here and postin and stuff.
Okay so thats it for me. I hope everyone is not bored with my posting and stuff and thanks for readin what I had to say and stuff.
I am gonna post one more time tomorrow but its gonna be a special one just for my boy Derry!
Peace out everyone!
Okay so the last few days were kinda eventful. The docs gave Derry some kinda medication that he needed to have and he had a wicked reaction to it and started havin severe seizures, he was foamin at the mouth, eyes rolled back, all seizing up and shit and twice his heart stopped and they had to put those shocking things on em. They got him back and started dosin him up with some kinda anti-seizure shit and he settled down. They said it was a serious reaction to one of the meds in his IV bag but they knew what it was and were changing the meds. Today he was fine and I asked him if he remembered any of it and he said he didn't really remember anything. I told him he was like dead twice cuz his heart had stopped and he just kept sayin he had no clue so yeah I dunno, it freaked the shit outta me cuz I thought we were gonna lose him and to have it happen twice I was like, HOLY SHIT do something and I was practically yelling at them to do shit.
Anyway, talkin to him today he is good. We are bringin him some clothes tomorrow for his big day on Tuesday when he gets to come home again. He is really excited but nervous too cuz he has been away and he kinda worries that he is still a little unsure about himself getting around but I am gonna be home with him to keep an eye on him and stuff.
So yeah, he is doin amazing, scans are lookin good, I wont talk much bout that cuz I know he wants to talk about it and stuff but just a hint, they look good so you do the math LOL.
Aight so he will be back and postin on Tuesday and he says hello to everyone and wants me to tell you that he misses bein on here and postin and stuff.
Okay so thats it for me. I hope everyone is not bored with my posting and stuff and thanks for readin what I had to say and stuff.
I am gonna post one more time tomorrow but its gonna be a special one just for my boy Derry!
Peace out everyone!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Derry Recovery Update 4
Aight so yeah time to get another update up.
Um so yesterday was LiveSTRONG day and I hope everyone put on their yellow and showed support. It was an important day for Derry and he had his yellow LiveSTRONG band on and I was wearing my yellow shirt, yellow shorts, wristband, and I even had a yellow hat so yeah, I looked like freakin Big Bird but it was cool.
Okay so Derry has been moved from the ICU and is now on a regular floor. He may only be there another 5 days cuz they say he is doing amazing and they think he could be home just after the weekend, like maybe Tuesday or something. I am really excited for him.
They have removed most of the tubes and stuff and now he has just the heart monitor thingy and the IV which I think does the pain meds and the antibiotics and all that stuff.
Derry hates the hospital and wants to come home, he misses everyone and is sick of the food which I cant blame him cuz it sucks ass. He has been up and walkin round too but he cant go all that far yet but he is up anyway and they took out some tube from his pee pee so he can go on his own now. no idea what the hell it was but it was supposed to make it so he did not have to get up. That thing had to be out and the breathing tube and other things before they would let him go to the regular floor.
Aight so yeah, he is doin amazing and they say he is lookin good on paper so yeah like I said, could be home Tuesday afternoon or somethin.
Aight so for the person who posted all that stuff, I am not an addict anymore. I am recovering and I dont use drugs no more. I am also not leavin Derry for nothin so yeah you can pitch that bullshit. I dunno if anyone knows what recovery is all about so my contribution today is gonna be the 12 steps. In AA they have the same 12 steps but they also use em for addicts too cuz its like all the same alcohol, drugs, whatever the addiction the same things apply. So yeah, this list is on a little card that I have to carry with me wherever I go cuz thats the rules.
Anyway, here is the 12 steps and I wont tell you which one I am on cuz its confidential but yeah I gotta do all 12
:: The 12 Steps :::
1: We admitted we were powerless over drugs--that our lives had become unmanageable.
2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Um so yesterday was LiveSTRONG day and I hope everyone put on their yellow and showed support. It was an important day for Derry and he had his yellow LiveSTRONG band on and I was wearing my yellow shirt, yellow shorts, wristband, and I even had a yellow hat so yeah, I looked like freakin Big Bird but it was cool.
Okay so Derry has been moved from the ICU and is now on a regular floor. He may only be there another 5 days cuz they say he is doing amazing and they think he could be home just after the weekend, like maybe Tuesday or something. I am really excited for him.
They have removed most of the tubes and stuff and now he has just the heart monitor thingy and the IV which I think does the pain meds and the antibiotics and all that stuff.
Derry hates the hospital and wants to come home, he misses everyone and is sick of the food which I cant blame him cuz it sucks ass. He has been up and walkin round too but he cant go all that far yet but he is up anyway and they took out some tube from his pee pee so he can go on his own now. no idea what the hell it was but it was supposed to make it so he did not have to get up. That thing had to be out and the breathing tube and other things before they would let him go to the regular floor.
Aight so yeah, he is doin amazing and they say he is lookin good on paper so yeah like I said, could be home Tuesday afternoon or somethin.
Aight so for the person who posted all that stuff, I am not an addict anymore. I am recovering and I dont use drugs no more. I am also not leavin Derry for nothin so yeah you can pitch that bullshit. I dunno if anyone knows what recovery is all about so my contribution today is gonna be the 12 steps. In AA they have the same 12 steps but they also use em for addicts too cuz its like all the same alcohol, drugs, whatever the addiction the same things apply. So yeah, this list is on a little card that I have to carry with me wherever I go cuz thats the rules.
Anyway, here is the 12 steps and I wont tell you which one I am on cuz its confidential but yeah I gotta do all 12
:: The 12 Steps :::
1: We admitted we were powerless over drugs--that our lives had become unmanageable.
2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Derry Recovery Update 3
Aight sorry yall for takin so long to get you an update. I am kinda lost about postin stuff on here so yeah here ya go.
The weekend has been good for Derry. His stats are comin along great, he is in less pain everyday and he is much more alert and cuttin us all up which means he is doin great. I still cant get him to curse in front of his rents (must be the damn soap incident hauntin him) but he is tellin jokes and laughin and doin all the normal stuff. He hates the hospital food which I dont blame him cuz its shit and he misses everyone that he blogs to and talks to so yeah, he is thinkin of you all.
He is supposed to move from ICU on Wed and then to a regular floor and he will be there for 1 week and then comin home so long as his stats stay good and stuff and he continues to get better kinda thing. He has no side effects other than headaches and so far its all lookin good.
I have told him what everyone has been tellin me to tell him and he says that he misses everyone and hopes everyone is good and stuff. He sends special hello's to the regulars on the blog and the people at the SIMHL.
Aight so here is my contribution to the blog for today
THIS IS WHAT I WOULD DO FOR MY BOY DERRY:
GIVE HIM ONE OF MY T-SHIRTS TO SLEEP IN.
LEAVE HIM CUTE TEXT NOTES
KISS HIM IN FR0NT OF MY FRIENDS.
TRUST HIM OVER EVERY0NE ELSE.
TELL HIM HE LOOKS AWESOME.
LOOK HIM IN THE EYE WHEN I TALK TO HIM.
LET HIM MESS WITH MY HAIR.
MESS WITH HIS HAIR.
JUST WALK AROUND WITH HIM.
FORGIVE HIS MISTAKES.
LOOK AT HIM LIKES HE'S THE ONLY GUY I SEE.
TICKLE HIM EVEN WHEN HE SAYS STOP.
HOLD HIS HAND EVEN WHEN I AM AROUND MY FRIENDS.
WHEN HE STARTS SWEARING AT ME TELL HIM I LOVE HIM.
LET HIM FALL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS
GET HIM MAD, THEN KISS HIM.
TEASE HIM & LET HIM TEASE ME BACK.
STAY UP WITH HIM ALL NIGHT WHEN HE'S SICK.
WATCH HIS FAV0RITE MOVIE WITH HIM
KISS HIS FOREHEAD.
GIVE HIM THE WORLD.
WRITE HIM LETTERS.
LET HIM WEAR MY CLOTHES,
WHEN HES SAD HANG OUT WITH HIM.
LET HIM KNOW HE'S IMPORTANT.
The weekend has been good for Derry. His stats are comin along great, he is in less pain everyday and he is much more alert and cuttin us all up which means he is doin great. I still cant get him to curse in front of his rents (must be the damn soap incident hauntin him) but he is tellin jokes and laughin and doin all the normal stuff. He hates the hospital food which I dont blame him cuz its shit and he misses everyone that he blogs to and talks to so yeah, he is thinkin of you all.
He is supposed to move from ICU on Wed and then to a regular floor and he will be there for 1 week and then comin home so long as his stats stay good and stuff and he continues to get better kinda thing. He has no side effects other than headaches and so far its all lookin good.
I have told him what everyone has been tellin me to tell him and he says that he misses everyone and hopes everyone is good and stuff. He sends special hello's to the regulars on the blog and the people at the SIMHL.
Aight so here is my contribution to the blog for today
THIS IS WHAT I WOULD DO FOR MY BOY DERRY:
GIVE HIM ONE OF MY T-SHIRTS TO SLEEP IN.
LEAVE HIM CUTE TEXT NOTES
KISS HIM IN FR0NT OF MY FRIENDS.
TRUST HIM OVER EVERY0NE ELSE.
TELL HIM HE LOOKS AWESOME.
LOOK HIM IN THE EYE WHEN I TALK TO HIM.
LET HIM MESS WITH MY HAIR.
MESS WITH HIS HAIR.
JUST WALK AROUND WITH HIM.
FORGIVE HIS MISTAKES.
LOOK AT HIM LIKES HE'S THE ONLY GUY I SEE.
TICKLE HIM EVEN WHEN HE SAYS STOP.
HOLD HIS HAND EVEN WHEN I AM AROUND MY FRIENDS.
WHEN HE STARTS SWEARING AT ME TELL HIM I LOVE HIM.
LET HIM FALL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS
GET HIM MAD, THEN KISS HIM.
TEASE HIM & LET HIM TEASE ME BACK.
STAY UP WITH HIM ALL NIGHT WHEN HE'S SICK.
WATCH HIS FAV0RITE MOVIE WITH HIM
KISS HIS FOREHEAD.
GIVE HIM THE WORLD.
WRITE HIM LETTERS.
LET HIM WEAR MY CLOTHES,
WHEN HES SAD HANG OUT WITH HIM.
LET HIM KNOW HE'S IMPORTANT.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Derry Recovery Update 2
Alright so yeah, I am gonna give ya another update here on Derry.
Earlier this morning he woke up and he seemed kinda out of it and really kinda tired which I guess he was gonna be cuz he just had his head cut open and stuff. So we come in to see him and the first thing he said to us was, "See, I told you we dont say goodbye". His mom was like mad crieing and stuff. I think she was just happy to see he was ok.
He seems to be doin good and the doctor said that if he keeps his stats improving then he will be out of the ICU by next wed or thur.
So yeah, there ya go, hes doin good. He even asked if I traded Richards yet and I told him yeah I did and told him I traded him to Columbus for a pick. He gave me a funny look and said I better be kidding or he was gonna kick my ass. I told him I was kidding and that he couldn't kick my ass from the bed so we kinda laughed.
Hes takin some kinda pain killer and he shoots it up himself so he was kinda awake and then asleep and then awake again.
Aight so yeah thats that. I guess what I am sayin is, its lookin good.
Earlier this morning he woke up and he seemed kinda out of it and really kinda tired which I guess he was gonna be cuz he just had his head cut open and stuff. So we come in to see him and the first thing he said to us was, "See, I told you we dont say goodbye". His mom was like mad crieing and stuff. I think she was just happy to see he was ok.
He seems to be doin good and the doctor said that if he keeps his stats improving then he will be out of the ICU by next wed or thur.
So yeah, there ya go, hes doin good. He even asked if I traded Richards yet and I told him yeah I did and told him I traded him to Columbus for a pick. He gave me a funny look and said I better be kidding or he was gonna kick my ass. I told him I was kidding and that he couldn't kick my ass from the bed so we kinda laughed.
Hes takin some kinda pain killer and he shoots it up himself so he was kinda awake and then asleep and then awake again.
Aight so yeah thats that. I guess what I am sayin is, its lookin good.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Derry Recovery Update 1
So yeah Derry asked me to post updates so you all know what is goin on kinda thing so yeah, these entries are prolly not gonna be long but you will know what is goin on kinda thing.
Oh yeah, I am Caleb, his boyfriend just in case you don’t know who I am.
Okay so the surgery was today. He went in around 8 AM and it took the doctors just over 7 hours to complete the work. They came out and said that Derry was doing fine, and that the operation went good. They believe they got all of the tumor and he was going to be moved to the ICU in a few hours. He prolly would not be awake and able to talk till sometime tomorrow.
We were allowed to visit for just a few minutes and he was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and machines and had some tube down his throat. His head was all wrapped up but he looked like he was kinda at peace or somethin.
Oh yeah, I dunno if you know much bout Derry and religion but he has this laminated card in his wallet that he carries everywhere and he took it with him to the hospital. I saw it sitting on his table in the room. Well yeah so here is what it says, I kinda like it
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
So yeah thats all for now, I will let ya know when he wakes up
Oh yeah, I am Caleb, his boyfriend just in case you don’t know who I am.
Okay so the surgery was today. He went in around 8 AM and it took the doctors just over 7 hours to complete the work. They came out and said that Derry was doing fine, and that the operation went good. They believe they got all of the tumor and he was going to be moved to the ICU in a few hours. He prolly would not be awake and able to talk till sometime tomorrow.
We were allowed to visit for just a few minutes and he was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and machines and had some tube down his throat. His head was all wrapped up but he looked like he was kinda at peace or somethin.
Oh yeah, I dunno if you know much bout Derry and religion but he has this laminated card in his wallet that he carries everywhere and he took it with him to the hospital. I saw it sitting on his table in the room. Well yeah so here is what it says, I kinda like it
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
So yeah thats all for now, I will let ya know when he wakes up
Monday, May 5, 2008
We Don't Say Goodbye
So yesterday was Caleb’s 18th Birthday and what a day it was. I started the day off by getting a hot breakfast organized for him and setting a table out on the deck so that we could enjoy breakfast together in the morning sun. Once that was done, I spent the rest of the day doing whatever he wanted to do which included taking a walk through the mall to see what was new, a stop at the local Tim’s for a coffee and then back home to spend some more time together. I made dinner for him which consisted of Rosemary encrusted Lamb Chops, organic baby greens, and Sweet Potato. The salad was a tossed garden salad in Raspberry Vinaigrette. Dessert consisted of Crème Brule. I have always loved cooking and it is something that I have spent a lot of time learning and working on. When I get the chance, I love to get in the kitchen and work magic. I swear I am a chef at heart. Though he is not old enough to legally drink, I did serve an Inniskilln Late Harvest Riesling with dinner. This straw colored wine is a beautiful balance to the Lamb Chops and its sweeter taste of lechi fruit and mango is not overwhelmed by the Lamb which tends to be a little strong when not cooked appropriately.
Having completed dinner, we took off for our bedroom to get to know each other a little better. Full from dinner and definitely aroused from a very enjoyable food experience, I took my time with him. We spent plenty of time getting close and letting our hormones take us wherever they wanted. It was not long before the moment I waited 19 years for, happened. With a gentleness and maturity that I could have only imagined, Caleb relieved me of my virginity. It was certainly one of the most anxious moments of my life, and having sensed that, he was a perfect gentleman with me and made sure that I was more than happy and comfortable with what was happening. Having done the deed, we switched places and I completed the other half of losing my virginity. It was the most dizzying experience of my life and it happened so fast that I really did not have much time to think. I simply collapsed on him and he cuddled up with me, running his hands through my hair and we just stayed that way for what seemed like hours. We later got up and spent time watching the hockey game and I spent some time working on my SIMhl thing.
Today will be the last entry in this blog that I personally will be making for at least the next 4 weeks. As many of you know, I am going in tomorrow to start pre-op for surgery on Wednesday. During this time, Caleb will be posting on my recovery so that you all know what is going on with me. I know many of you have said that I need not think this way, but the truth is this may very well be my last post ever on here. If that is the case, I would be wrong to not thank everyone who comes here and reads. Whether you leave comments or not, I know you’re here and I know your reading along. For that I thank you. You have given me the will to fight this disease. Special thanks of course to Darrell, Al, Scott, Jeremy, “N”, and Bloom who have made me feel as though this life was worth sharing with others. You have been amazing!
A very special place in my life has been occupied by Zach. In the short time that we have been talking I have become very close to this fine young man to the point where he feels more like the brother I never had. WHEN I beat this thing, give yourself a pat on the back, you were a big part of what pushed me back into Chemo and therefore to this point in which recovery is a very real possibility. I have never met him but I don’t think I need to know that he is a very special person in a world where there is very little that is special.
Lastly, to Caleb and to my family without whom I would not have the strength to fight. Caleb, you came into my life at the strangest time and in the strangest way but nothing about what I feel for you feels strange at all. Thank you for all you are and all you will be. Mom and Dad, I love you…your son is going to win this one, don’t you worry.
On that note, I leave you now for the next few weeks anyway and God forbid, if this was/is my last entry, than fate will have done what she see’s fit to do and hopefully this blog will have in some way changed the world around me! God Bless all of you…see you in a few weeks! Whatever happens, we don't say goodbye!
LiveSTRONG
Having completed dinner, we took off for our bedroom to get to know each other a little better. Full from dinner and definitely aroused from a very enjoyable food experience, I took my time with him. We spent plenty of time getting close and letting our hormones take us wherever they wanted. It was not long before the moment I waited 19 years for, happened. With a gentleness and maturity that I could have only imagined, Caleb relieved me of my virginity. It was certainly one of the most anxious moments of my life, and having sensed that, he was a perfect gentleman with me and made sure that I was more than happy and comfortable with what was happening. Having done the deed, we switched places and I completed the other half of losing my virginity. It was the most dizzying experience of my life and it happened so fast that I really did not have much time to think. I simply collapsed on him and he cuddled up with me, running his hands through my hair and we just stayed that way for what seemed like hours. We later got up and spent time watching the hockey game and I spent some time working on my SIMhl thing.
Today will be the last entry in this blog that I personally will be making for at least the next 4 weeks. As many of you know, I am going in tomorrow to start pre-op for surgery on Wednesday. During this time, Caleb will be posting on my recovery so that you all know what is going on with me. I know many of you have said that I need not think this way, but the truth is this may very well be my last post ever on here. If that is the case, I would be wrong to not thank everyone who comes here and reads. Whether you leave comments or not, I know you’re here and I know your reading along. For that I thank you. You have given me the will to fight this disease. Special thanks of course to Darrell, Al, Scott, Jeremy, “N”, and Bloom who have made me feel as though this life was worth sharing with others. You have been amazing!
A very special place in my life has been occupied by Zach. In the short time that we have been talking I have become very close to this fine young man to the point where he feels more like the brother I never had. WHEN I beat this thing, give yourself a pat on the back, you were a big part of what pushed me back into Chemo and therefore to this point in which recovery is a very real possibility. I have never met him but I don’t think I need to know that he is a very special person in a world where there is very little that is special.
Lastly, to Caleb and to my family without whom I would not have the strength to fight. Caleb, you came into my life at the strangest time and in the strangest way but nothing about what I feel for you feels strange at all. Thank you for all you are and all you will be. Mom and Dad, I love you…your son is going to win this one, don’t you worry.
On that note, I leave you now for the next few weeks anyway and God forbid, if this was/is my last entry, than fate will have done what she see’s fit to do and hopefully this blog will have in some way changed the world around me! God Bless all of you…see you in a few weeks! Whatever happens, we don't say goodbye!
LiveSTRONG
Saturday, May 3, 2008
The Boy Makes Me Laugh, What Can I Say
And now for something completely different!
For those of you who hang out in Sim Land with the rest of us hockey junkies, you have no doubt met my buddy Rob who goes by Unohuim (you-know-who-I-am).
What many of you may not know is that Rob is an accomplished comedian. We know this to be true just by looking at his team...a definite joke (sorry Rob, I had to)
Seriously though, Rob is a regular at Yuk Yuk's Comedy Club and is set to appear again in the next few weeks. I have seen Rob on Youtube and I have to say, his comedy is amazing. I was LMAO well I watched. If you have not had the pleasure, I am including the two clips he has on Youtube of his performances. I strongly encourage you to check them out.
Rob does a great job poking fun at Toronto traffic, the Facebook phenomenon, and other pop culture artifacts that you just can't help but laugh at. I think a lot of what makes him funny is that he points out the things that we all deep down know are absolutely true, but just dont have the cojones to say out loud, and at that, stand in front of a crowd of perfect strangers and do it. Rob on the other hand has stones the size of boulders and spits out his thoughts with a tone of sarcasm and truthfulness that just makes you want more and more.
What more can I say? Ladies and gentlemen, heeeeerrrrrreeeeeesssss Rob!
LiveSTRONG!
For those of you who hang out in Sim Land with the rest of us hockey junkies, you have no doubt met my buddy Rob who goes by Unohuim (you-know-who-I-am).
What many of you may not know is that Rob is an accomplished comedian. We know this to be true just by looking at his team...a definite joke (sorry Rob, I had to)
Seriously though, Rob is a regular at Yuk Yuk's Comedy Club and is set to appear again in the next few weeks. I have seen Rob on Youtube and I have to say, his comedy is amazing. I was LMAO well I watched. If you have not had the pleasure, I am including the two clips he has on Youtube of his performances. I strongly encourage you to check them out.
Rob does a great job poking fun at Toronto traffic, the Facebook phenomenon, and other pop culture artifacts that you just can't help but laugh at. I think a lot of what makes him funny is that he points out the things that we all deep down know are absolutely true, but just dont have the cojones to say out loud, and at that, stand in front of a crowd of perfect strangers and do it. Rob on the other hand has stones the size of boulders and spits out his thoughts with a tone of sarcasm and truthfulness that just makes you want more and more.
What more can I say? Ladies and gentlemen, heeeeerrrrrreeeeeesssss Rob!
LiveSTRONG!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Life Before Cancer, Part 7
Learning to talk when you are much older is a real challenge. If your a parent, think back to when you were teaching your kid to talk. You kept trying to get them to say something and the only thing that would often come out was some garbled ga-ga that you interpreted to mean, "Holy shit, my son just said Da-Da" LOL
Learning to talk for me has meant going to a speech therapist for intensive therapy. The mode of learning is a lot like having a conversation. A lot of what I do involves trying to have a conversation. The whole process starts with simple things like learning the alphabet, working on annunciation, and pronunciation. You start to learn simple phrases and words. Usually things like greetings and responses. In a lot of ways, it was exactly like learning ASL except this time I was speaking instead of signing.
Sometimes we would be working with books where words were sounded out phonetically and other times we would use video or audio tools to help me figure out how words should sound. A lot of the time it was a case of, "Listen and repeat" or as the French would say, Ecoute and Repetition.
The biggest hurdle for me was getting over my self consciousness around the sound of my voice. Initially I felt like I sounded like a frog with a throat infection. It made me very uncomfortable attempting to speak. Over time though I got comfortable with the sound of my voice and it became my own. Not something or someone elses...just mine.
One of the other big hurdles was my parents insisting on making me respond to them using words. Only occasionally would they use ASL with me and if I went to use it with them, they would often not respond until I tried to speak first. It may sound mean, and at the time I felt like it was but I know now that they were doing the right thing.
Don't get me wrong, I am still using ASL from time to time and I usually do it AS I am speaking. This way Caleb learns ASL and I dont forget how to use it myself.
There are somethings I still struggle with and they are mainly the letters, "S" and "C". The letter C only messes me up when it is used as a soft C. I dont know why it is such a challenge but it is, and I am working on it.
Many months of speech therapy have gotten me to the point where I sound a lot like the deaf people you hear on TV. They have a certain way of talking and if you have seen them on TV you know what I am talking about.
Speech therapy is a big topic though and there is a lot I could say about it and a lot I could tell you.
What I have given you here is just an overview. Maybe you could tell me if there is something specific you want to know about and I will be happy to shed some more light on it for you.
Well its Friday, the big weekend is here...I can hardly wait. I hope everyone has a great weekend and as always...
LiveSTRONG!
Learning to talk for me has meant going to a speech therapist for intensive therapy. The mode of learning is a lot like having a conversation. A lot of what I do involves trying to have a conversation. The whole process starts with simple things like learning the alphabet, working on annunciation, and pronunciation. You start to learn simple phrases and words. Usually things like greetings and responses. In a lot of ways, it was exactly like learning ASL except this time I was speaking instead of signing.
Sometimes we would be working with books where words were sounded out phonetically and other times we would use video or audio tools to help me figure out how words should sound. A lot of the time it was a case of, "Listen and repeat" or as the French would say, Ecoute and Repetition.
The biggest hurdle for me was getting over my self consciousness around the sound of my voice. Initially I felt like I sounded like a frog with a throat infection. It made me very uncomfortable attempting to speak. Over time though I got comfortable with the sound of my voice and it became my own. Not something or someone elses...just mine.
One of the other big hurdles was my parents insisting on making me respond to them using words. Only occasionally would they use ASL with me and if I went to use it with them, they would often not respond until I tried to speak first. It may sound mean, and at the time I felt like it was but I know now that they were doing the right thing.
Don't get me wrong, I am still using ASL from time to time and I usually do it AS I am speaking. This way Caleb learns ASL and I dont forget how to use it myself.
There are somethings I still struggle with and they are mainly the letters, "S" and "C". The letter C only messes me up when it is used as a soft C. I dont know why it is such a challenge but it is, and I am working on it.
Many months of speech therapy have gotten me to the point where I sound a lot like the deaf people you hear on TV. They have a certain way of talking and if you have seen them on TV you know what I am talking about.
Speech therapy is a big topic though and there is a lot I could say about it and a lot I could tell you.
What I have given you here is just an overview. Maybe you could tell me if there is something specific you want to know about and I will be happy to shed some more light on it for you.
Well its Friday, the big weekend is here...I can hardly wait. I hope everyone has a great weekend and as always...
LiveSTRONG!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Something Random
I have spent the last week or so trying to get Caleb oriented with the SimHL league I play in. In just under a week I will be turing the reigns of my hockey team over to the Big C. I have put a lot of work into this team and the idea of letting someone else run it for 4-6 weeks is a little bit nerve racking but I have faith in the big guy and if he follows the simple directions I left him, we should be fine.
The nice thing too is that I have made some connections for him on the site as well that he can rely on to ask questions and stuff. The only thing I have told him for sure is not to trade anyone LOL.
With all that said, his B-day is just a few days away now and my nerves continue to go off on me. I want him to be happy so badly that I think I am overthinking the whole thing. Then, there is Zach who simply suggests that I get pounded and move on LOL. God love Zach, he always makes it sound so simple. I think we should flip a coin on who gets to do what but then its his B-day so who am I to say how things should go right?
I have arranged a cake for him too. I know he likes chocolate so I have arranged a chocolate cake with white icing and Blue trim. I also toyed with whether or not to put 18 candles on it or just get a 1 and an 8 candle but I have decided that the 18 candles would be more fun. This way it looks like an inferno on the cake and I can make cracks about needing a fire extinguisher.
I dont really have much to say today to be honest, I was going to talk some more about speech therapy but I just opted not to. I guess I am getting a little worried too about Wednesday. It seems to be creeping up on me really fast.
Alright well, I just wanted to say a few words today. Tomorrow I will write more and will do that entry on speech therapy that I have been threatening to write.
Until then...
LiveSTRONG!
The nice thing too is that I have made some connections for him on the site as well that he can rely on to ask questions and stuff. The only thing I have told him for sure is not to trade anyone LOL.
With all that said, his B-day is just a few days away now and my nerves continue to go off on me. I want him to be happy so badly that I think I am overthinking the whole thing. Then, there is Zach who simply suggests that I get pounded and move on LOL. God love Zach, he always makes it sound so simple. I think we should flip a coin on who gets to do what but then its his B-day so who am I to say how things should go right?
I have arranged a cake for him too. I know he likes chocolate so I have arranged a chocolate cake with white icing and Blue trim. I also toyed with whether or not to put 18 candles on it or just get a 1 and an 8 candle but I have decided that the 18 candles would be more fun. This way it looks like an inferno on the cake and I can make cracks about needing a fire extinguisher.
I dont really have much to say today to be honest, I was going to talk some more about speech therapy but I just opted not to. I guess I am getting a little worried too about Wednesday. It seems to be creeping up on me really fast.
Alright well, I just wanted to say a few words today. Tomorrow I will write more and will do that entry on speech therapy that I have been threatening to write.
Until then...
LiveSTRONG!
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