We Don't Say Goodbye

So yesterday was Caleb’s 18th Birthday and what a day it was. I started the day off by getting a hot breakfast organized for him and setting a table out on the deck so that we could enjoy breakfast together in the morning sun. Once that was done, I spent the rest of the day doing whatever he wanted to do which included taking a walk through the mall to see what was new, a stop at the local Tim’s for a coffee and then back home to spend some more time together. I made dinner for him which consisted of Rosemary encrusted Lamb Chops, organic baby greens, and Sweet Potato. The salad was a tossed garden salad in Raspberry Vinaigrette. Dessert consisted of Crème Brule. I have always loved cooking and it is something that I have spent a lot of time learning and working on. When I get the chance, I love to get in the kitchen and work magic. I swear I am a chef at heart. Though he is not old enough to legally drink, I did serve an Inniskilln Late Harvest Riesling with dinner. This straw colored wine is a beautiful balance to the Lamb Chops and its sweeter taste of lechi fruit and mango is not overwhelmed by the Lamb which tends to be a little strong when not cooked appropriately.

Having completed dinner, we took off for our bedroom to get to know each other a little better. Full from dinner and definitely aroused from a very enjoyable food experience, I took my time with him. We spent plenty of time getting close and letting our hormones take us wherever they wanted. It was not long before the moment I waited 19 years for, happened. With a gentleness and maturity that I could have only imagined, Caleb relieved me of my virginity. It was certainly one of the most anxious moments of my life, and having sensed that, he was a perfect gentleman with me and made sure that I was more than happy and comfortable with what was happening. Having done the deed, we switched places and I completed the other half of losing my virginity. It was the most dizzying experience of my life and it happened so fast that I really did not have much time to think. I simply collapsed on him and he cuddled up with me, running his hands through my hair and we just stayed that way for what seemed like hours. We later got up and spent time watching the hockey game and I spent some time working on my SIMhl thing.

Today will be the last entry in this blog that I personally will be making for at least the next 4 weeks. As many of you know, I am going in tomorrow to start pre-op for surgery on Wednesday. During this time, Caleb will be posting on my recovery so that you all know what is going on with me. I know many of you have said that I need not think this way, but the truth is this may very well be my last post ever on here. If that is the case, I would be wrong to not thank everyone who comes here and reads. Whether you leave comments or not, I know you’re here and I know your reading along. For that I thank you. You have given me the will to fight this disease. Special thanks of course to Darrell, Al, Scott, Jeremy, “N”, and Bloom who have made me feel as though this life was worth sharing with others. You have been amazing!

A very special place in my life has been occupied by Zach. In the short time that we have been talking I have become very close to this fine young man to the point where he feels more like the brother I never had. WHEN I beat this thing, give yourself a pat on the back, you were a big part of what pushed me back into Chemo and therefore to this point in which recovery is a very real possibility. I have never met him but I don’t think I need to know that he is a very special person in a world where there is very little that is special.

Lastly, to Caleb and to my family without whom I would not have the strength to fight. Caleb, you came into my life at the strangest time and in the strangest way but nothing about what I feel for you feels strange at all. Thank you for all you are and all you will be. Mom and Dad, I love you…your son is going to win this one, don’t you worry.

On that note, I leave you now for the next few weeks anyway and God forbid, if this was/is my last entry, than fate will have done what she see’s fit to do and hopefully this blog will have in some way changed the world around me! God Bless all of you…see you in a few weeks! Whatever happens, we don't say goodbye!

LiveSTRONG