Scattered Thoughts

I know it has been a long time since my last post. I am not sure if everyone is still following along or not, I hope you all are. I write this stuff for all of you though some would argue that it is therapy for me.

I have been a little bit of a mess the last little while. My tests show that the tumor is continuing its growth and seems to be very much alive and well. That is not good news for me because it means that I am getting that much closer to leaving all of you. They gave me a 2 year window and by all accounts, they are bang on with the timing so far. I should be freaking out and sad and yet I cant really say I feel anything at this point. I like to say that it is because I am at peace with what is coming but I am starting to get frustrated. I see all the cool things around me, all the cool sounds, the cool new THINGS and I can not believe that I may not get to take it all in like I wanted too. A good friend said it best when he said, “Its not that life is too short, its just that your dead for so long”. I think he is quite right. We are all dead for way too long if you ask me HA-HA!

It also seems my bucket list has caused a few stirs. I don’t know why people just assume that I have slept with someone before. I guess it should be considered a compliment really but I don’t know. I mean, not all guys are hot to jump in bed with anything that moves LOL. I sincerely want to wait for the right person. I am not talking about the mood having to be perfect and the stars perfectly aligned or anything crazy like that. I am talking about the person being right for me, and me feeling like that person is the one. That person has to be willing to accept that this is totally new to me, that I will in all likelihood be completely freaked out and nervous as all heck. If I can find that person I will be doing fine. Until then though I am going to have to continue the course of cold showers and prayers LOL. One thing I will say is that I do NOT intend to die a virgin. I will be damned if I am going to have that on my headstone. So in the interim if you know someone who fits what I am looking for……..Just kidding.

On a more positive note, my speech is getting better. I am still having trouble with the letter C and the letter S but it is coming along. Also, I have been able to slow my over annunciation of certain letters so that I look less like someone who is trying to speak in slow motion HA-HA! If you thought learning to walk was hard as a kid, try learning to speak at my age Tee hee hee.

Alright so here it is, I don’t know what you all want to read, what you want to hear about so I am opening the floor up. What would you like me to talk about? What do you want to know? There is so much I could tell you but I wanna know what interests you.

LiveSTRONG!