Searching For Remission

re·mis·sion (rĭ-mĭsh'ən) Noun;

The act of remitting.
A condition or period in which something is remitted.
Abatement or subsiding of the symptoms of a disease.
The period during which the symptoms of a disease abate or subside.
Release, as from a debt, penalty, or obligation.
Forgiveness; pardon.

Those of us who suffer with Cancer define this word as victory, to win, to beat an opposing force. I also define it as a miracle. We all search for remission and we all hope to one day be able to live in the grace this state allows.

I spend so much time worrying about this tumour on my brain stem that I don't often think about the Hodgkin's disease that I am very much going to beat. Chemo and medication are helping me win this battle. I am excited to know that I am going to win this one. I sometimes spend so much time posting about the negative that is the tumour that I forget to post all that is so positive about beating Hodgkin's. Those of you who have been reading this blog know what I am talking about.

Lets take some time to look at all the positive things that being diagnosed allows you to have.

First off, your outlook on everything changes. You no longer go through the each day as if you were simply going through the motions. The little things that annoy most people now seem insignificant. What am I talking about you ask? How about this. Your standing in line waiting for your coffee well someone else frantically searches through their wallet/purse/pockets looking for change to pay. Meanwhile your standing there cursing because your running late and your body is having a Caffeine fit. I now stand in line and spend that time looking around the place, I smell the coffee brewing, the fresh donuts and pastry baking, the maniac pace that the other patrons try to keep up running from cashier to car. Its almost like watching things in slow motion.

How about a walk down a snowy street! Ever curse because your neighbours haven't shoveled their walk and your chances of slipping on the ice are now increased? Why not do what I do, look up! If you have not enjoyed the singular beauty of snow covering tree branches or better yet, tall pine tress, your letting some of the most beautiful natural creations slip right past you. Maybe you should also consider just stopping and listening to the sound of nothing. You know, dead silence. In our rush to do everything we are so bombarded with noise that we miss the sounds of the simplest things. Sounds like snow crunching under your shoe...try it, it sounds amazing like a bowl of rice krispies gone haywire LOL. If that is not your thing, try watching a winter squirrel digging through the snow for buried treasure. The winter squirrels are now quite fat and its funny to watch them run around looking for even more, completely oblivious to all the distractions.

I guess what I am saying is that despite all that is so very wrong with that I am dealing with, in a strange somewhat crazy way, there is also a lot of good. I stop and enjoy my surroundings a lot more. I use to think that the gift of hearing was the ultimate prize that life could have handed me. I was wrong, the greatest gift in life is time. Time to stop and smell the roses, time to stop and watch, time to just stop,

Turn off your computer, put on your coat and go and just jump in the snow, listen to it crunch, smell the clean crisp air, and watch a winter squirrel for me.

Remission may be the abatement of symptoms, but it is also defined as a release. Put your hustle, bustle and crazy life into remission for just one day. I promise you will never see the world the same way again.

LiveSTRONG!