I Wont Lose Faith

I have been waiting for the dust to settle on my emotions before I made this post. As most of you know I went to see a neurosurgeon regarding the tumor on the base of my brain stem. The idea was that it might be removable with a surgery but the surgeon shot that idea down saying that the risk far outweighs the benefits.

Apparently one wrong cut and he could paralyze me or more seriously, sever my brain stem and cause any or all of my major organs to stop functioning which of course would mean killing me.

I give him credit, he was professional about the whole thing and never once gave me any reason to think that I should not be positive about the news regardless of what it meant.

So what does it all mean? Well, now we start another round of chemo (All I want for christmas is my damn hair back) and then more likely radiation strips or discs will be surgically implanted into the tumor to try and kill it. If that works it could be as great as killing the tumor or the less better option of stopping it from progressing further. The worst case scenario is that none of the options works in which case I will likely have no more than 2 years to live and then I will be saying my goodbyes.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude about all of this. I am hoping that the Chemo and the radiation treatment will do what they need to do and put an end to this disease. I am also being realistic though in keeping in mind that the odds are not in my favour for this. The success rate with this is not all that great but that only means that I may be one of the blessed few who have success. For every negative there is an equal and opposite positive!

Whatever happens, I have made peace with my situation. If that means I only have 2 years left then so be it. I am gonna make those the best 2 damn years of my life and I am gonna shoot the moon, do it all, and have a blast. I am going to hear as much as I can, and experience everything I can. At least if I am going to go out, I am going to go out with my hearing. All 5 senses baby!!!

Thinking about this, that also means I may only have 8 more seasons on SIMhl with which to win another Stanley Cup...I guess what happens next will also impact what I do with my team.

Alright, enough of that. Everyone have an awesome night and take care! I am gonna be back in the next few days spending some time talking about my hearing cuz there is no way I am starting Chemo before Christmas!

LiveSTRONG!