The Centre Of My Universe

I got mad today, I posted a remark on the SIMhl site that I never meant to make. I looked at a trade, got angry and just posted, another case of letting my heart control my head. I was tired and feeling sick again and sick of feeling sick. I just wanted to apologize for that cuz it was wrong.

Today I want to talk about the one who makes my world turn. My girlfriend is not deaf, she is hearing able and yet she loved me when I was deaf and the only way I could communicate with her was with my hands. She did not care that I could not speak to her, I could not sing to her, I could not call her on her cell phone or leave her a voicemail. She fell in love with a deaf guy and never left him and now she faces another challenge with me.

When I told her I was going to have my surgery she said she would love me no matter what happened. She said it did not matter if I could hear or not, it only mattered that she could FEEL that I loved her, not that I TOLD her I loved her. As soon as I got the latest round of news I called her and I cried. I told her I was scared, I told her that I was angry at the world and my god for allowing this to happen to me. She was silent for a minute and then told me it didn't matter because no matter what, she would be beside me for all of it.

I guess what I am trying to say in this blog is that you need to value your friends, and your loved ones. Do not allow them to fall away from you. Ask yourself, am I with them for them or with them for me? If your in it for yourself, you miss all the good stuff. My friends are with me because I am in it for them and She is with me because I am in it for her always. I think too many times we take our friends for granted. We assume that they will always be there and that they will always be there for us in return. What we need to remember is that this is not true. When I got my news, they could have up and left, they could have said they were busy and could not be bothered. Instead they came to me and continue to stand by my side.

This blog is dedicated to my girlfriend. The song I have chosen is for her, it really says what I feel for her. When I got my news, I tried to lie about it and tell her everything was fine but I could not, I tried to hide it from her but I could not. I am glad that I told her everything. Honesty is the best policy.

I want this blog, this journey through cancer to be a positive one, I want to impact others, I want to share my story and then go back to sharing my story about being deaf.

Tonight though I want to remind people that life is precious and love is rare, once you find it, never let it go...ever!

"Everyday your telling me, I am the one, who makes you shine"

LiveSTRONG!