Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The First Fight

They say that you will have many firsts in your life. A first love, a first kiss, a first sexual relationship, and a first broken heart, but they never said anything about a first fight.

Needless to say, and I am sure that it was bound to happen sooner or later, Caleb and I had our first official fight. It was stupid really. I got up this morning and got breakfast for both of us well he was in the shower. I made coffee and cooked up some eggs and toast. He comes into the dining room, sits down to eat with me and we get talking about his addiction program. Dont get me wrong, he goes and he goes religiously but I noticed that he has not seemed himself lately and I was a little worried. I tried to find out what was wrong and he kept saying nothing but my gut said there was something. I guessed I pushed too much because he eventually got angry and said that he was having trouble adjusting and that was what was bothering him. I got a little angry and worried and snapped back that I was doing my best to make him comfortable and from there it just escalated.

Eventually I decided enough was enough and I took off out of the house to get some air. I did not say anything I would regret later and neither did he thankfully. When I got home he was already gone for work and so I wont be able to talk to him until he gets off work tonight around 11 PM. Normally I visit him on his break but I wont do that tonight. I think its best that we let it ride until he gets home.

I have to say, I have fought with my family, I have fought with my parents and I have even fought with people who were nothing to me but I never felt this bad about it before. I really feel upset and it hurts to think that we fought over something. I guess it is to be expected that any relationship is going to have something like this happen sooner or later. I guess you just never really think about it until it happens.

Anyway, I thought I would blog about yet another one of my firsts and get the feedback of the masses on what I should or should not do going forward. I dont like to fight, I hate conflict and it really bothers me to know I may have hurt someone I love very much. Its tough being in love, especially when you only want to make the one you love happy.

I will let you know how it goes...as always, looking forward to your thoughts.

LiveSTRONG

1 comment:

lea said...

try not to worry. fights are normal and healthy, as long as you are respectful to each other and don't start attacking the other person's character. sometimes one persons need to understand or fix a problem can overshadow the other person's need to have some time to think things over and really get to the bottom of what they are feeling.
I am sure Caleb understands that you are worried and only wanted to help but if he is feeling unsettled and not adjusted to his new life yet, the "what's wrong" question can be irritating or frustrating. my advise, when he gets home tonight, give him a hug, tell him you hoped he had a good day at work and that you are sorry you pushed the issue this morning and remind him that if and when he wants to talk about what he's feeling you will listen any time day or night. let him decide when to open up about what's bugging him instead of feeling pressured to explain feelings he may not truly understand. and when he does open up, try to avoid the need to offer solutions..... just listen and sympathize as best you can and offer to support him in whatever he needs to feel more adjusted and at home.
good luck and don't be so hard on yourself, you didn't do anything wrong! just unlucky timing this morning.